Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
