There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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