Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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