there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
