Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Moan for me like Helen Keller
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
