Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
