Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
