Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
