i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
