she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
