Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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