Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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