Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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