Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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