She said her name was "party"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
