My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
