I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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