Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
