we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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