i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Randomize
