soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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