she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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