we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
