Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
