I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
