it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
