dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
