I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
