HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize