You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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