What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
