in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
