I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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