her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
