I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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