Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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