he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
