Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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