i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he thought i was a dude.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
