my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
