If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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