you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
