She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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