i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
