Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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