Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
