his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
