my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
