i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
