I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
