you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
